Duke’s Birth Story

June 9, 2021

My “estimated” due date was June 8th, I had a routine prenatal appointment along with a NST because I was starting my 40th week.  Up until that day, I was experiencing my typical braxton-hicks contractions.  They were irregular and manageable, nothing new. At this point in my pregnancy, I was starting to get a little impatient, considering my 1st I went into labor at 39 weeks. I had to keep telling myself that neither my baby or my body were ready (repeat after me again).

During the NST, I could tell my contractions were becoming a little more consistent, as well as intense (and the NST was confirming).  Due to this, I decided to have my midwife check my cervix.  At 3 pm that day I was measuring at 3 cm dilated, 75% effaced. I knew this didn’t mean much about when I would go into labor, but I couldn’t help but notice a shift in my contractions and started to think I was heading in the right direction. 

On my way home, I decided to stop for groceries. If we don’t have “cows milk” (toddler’s words, not mine) in the fridge at home, the toddler will erupt. As I was walking through the store, the contractions were picking up even more and were not as easy to ignore. I hurried up and grabbed the milk, called my mom to start heading our way to watch our son (she has a 1:30 hr drive), and texted my husband that we were going to have a baby tonight.  Although my contractions were not to the point of needing to go to the hospital quite yet, I had to keep in mind my first labor and how quickly I progressed as well as the fact that rush hour was beginning to start. 

Once childcare was in place, my husband and I headed to the hospital.  At this point, contractions were the same intensity as in the store. No change. However, after discussing with my midwife my previous L&D, considering our 20 min drive to the hospital and potential traffic, we decided to go and at least be in the area of the hospital just in case things really picked up.  

While driving to the hospital, our gas light came on, of course.  Still, plenty of gas to get us to the hospital, but man the irony. Before we pulled into the hospital, my husband noticed a rainbow and said “I don't remember it raining today”.  For those who do not know, Duke was our rainbow baby, so this felt just about right.

We arrived at the hospital at 635pm, I was able to talk and walk around without any issue at this point.  In my head, I could tell I had stalled.  When they checked my cervix again, I was at a 3.5-4 (so very little change in approximately 3.5 hours).  They gave us the option of breaking my water to help speed up the process, but with my goal of allowing my body to go into labor on its own, I decided to opt out. Eric and I left the hospital to grab food (and gas) and further assess if we should hang close to the hospital or go home for the night.  

We decided to head back home and attempt to get some sleep in our own bed. Once home, I went straight to bed. In the event my contractions did pick up that night, I knew I needed to rest. During this time, my contractions did in fact pick up again and resting was not an option. This was after midnight and I found myself pacing around the house. My mom heard me and kept me company as I bounced on my stability ball, moving in whichever direction my body was telling me to go. This helped for a good 30 min then I needed something else. I decided to get in the shower.  The shower was a huge help to the point where my contractions were less intense and seemed to be spacing out again.  Once again, I thought I was stalling. I probably spent at least an hour in the shower that night.  

I then laid back down, thinking it was a false alarm. Within an hour, contractions were more intense than ever. I could not lay down, I could not talk through the contractions, it was time to go to the hospital.  

While getting ready to leave, I began shaking like crazy (a sign of transitioning), I was freezing and my teeth were chattering uncontrollably.  This was very hard to overcome as I tried to get out to the car. We arrived at the hospital again around 335am. At this time of night, we had to enter through the ER and wait in triage. I was the only one down there and I remember the side-eye I was getting from the male receptionist as I moaned through each contraction. If he only knew. A nurse came down to get me and we walked up to the L&D department, stopping along the way to get through each contraction.  

Once up in the birthing suite, I had to go straight to the bathroom. While experiencing a contraction on the toilet, I had a strong urge to start bearing down (now I knew I was really close). This sensation is called the fetal ejection reflex and it is your body's natural response when it is ready to start pushing the baby out. During this time I hit my point of desperation, screw the natural birth, where’s the epidural. I guess being in the hospital and having the options available made it pretty enticing. 

When the nurse came in to check me she said I was at 9 cm with a “bulging bag”, which I can now laugh at looking back. The midwife was called immediately. My midwife asked if I still wanted an epidural and with encouragement and support from the midwife, nurses and my husband, I was able to overcome my point of weakness and proceed without it. An unmedicated birth was my goal and I had nearly reached it, now was not the time to give in.

My midwife had informed my doula that I was in labor, however, she lived 20min away and was not going to make it in time. What a bummer. 

At this point, the contractions were so intense that I had a hard time surrendering to them being upright. I almost felt like I was fighting each one while on my feet. I knew I had to find a position to let me relax into each one. For me, that position was in sidelying.

I was able to hold off on pushing until my body naturally was telling me to do so. Which in hindsight is amazing. Our bodies know exactly what to do! Within a few pushes his head was out and they noticed he had a double nuchal cord, meaning the cord was wrapped around his neck twice. My team responded quickly to address the situation and get the baby out safely. 

My husband, Eric, announced the sex and immediately said “Hey there Duke”- a name we had picked out even when our first boy was born (thank goodness because we still did not have a girl name picked out).

Although I was unmedicated, I remember feeling numb in the moment, not physically numb (I could feel EVERYTHING going on down there) but mentally and emotionally numb. I think my mind and body were in shock from what had just happened and from it happening so fast. I checked into the hospital at 335am and Duke was born at 409am giving me very little time to process everything that had happened.

My doula arrived shortly after and spent time helping us with Duke. She took pictures of us and grabbed me a large sugary drink and meal to replenish. 

Shortly after delivery I couldn’t help but notice Duke’s breathing looked very labored. His color was good, but he was working very hard for each breath.  The nurses agreed and ended up paging one of docs from the NICU to come assess him.  They were thinking he had some excess amniotic fluid in his lungs.  Usually, babies get a good squeeze as they exit the birth canal that helps squeeze most of the fluid out.  Due to my labor moving so quickly, Duke did not get an adequate squeeze and some of the fluid stayed in his lungs.  They took him to the NICU to be suctioned and to be monitored overnight.  Although I was thankful they were going to be keeping a close eye on him, this was very difficult.  Ideally, on night one especially, I wanted my baby to get as much skin-to-skin as possible after birth and to be close to me during the night for feedings. This was our first night away from each other in 40 weeks. 

Thankfully, one night was all he needed and we were able to visit him throughout the day/night for feedings and to cuddle and do more skin-to-skin.

We stayed 2 nights in the hospital and I am so thankful we did. One-to keep a close eye on Duke's breathing a little longer and two- so I would do absolutely nothing! 

This is one thing I really stress to my expectant mothers before they go into labor. Your insurance covers 48 hrs after vaginal delivery and 96 hours after a cesarean in the hospital. . It is SUPER important that you take it easy following birth. It does not matter how you birthed your baby. Your body needs time to heal, rest and basically be horizontal to reduce the effects of gravity on your abdomen and pelvic floor. By taking it easy, I mean you lay in bed, and people bring you food, your medicine, your baby, etc. The hospital is ideal for this because the staff is there to assist you while you heal. Because remember once you go home, it’s on you and your partner. And if you are anything like me, I can’t sit still at home, something always needs to be done, something always needs to be cleaned and someone always needs something! Knowing myself, I would not be able to take it easy at home, so I planned even before my birth to max out my hospital stay.

So give yourself the 2-4 days (depending on mode of delivery), take advantage of room service and the support staff. A lot can also happen in the immediate postpartum to both you or your baby (even if your delivery went smooth) so having a close eye on you a little bit longer is also beneficial. This is your time to heal and bond with your baby. Take full advantage. 

Just like many birth stories, there are things I loved about mine and things I wouldn’t mind changing. Yes, I had my unmedicated birth but was it as calm and methodical as I had planned? Nope-more like fast & furious. 

You can plan and prep all you want but in the end, you have to be willing to adapt and be flexible in the moment.

Duke is here and we are feeling a little more complete as a family these days. Now for the adjustment period. How to balance being a mom of two boys is my next challenge :) 

A little sidenote on my medical team. I am fairly new to the Naperville, IL area. When I needed to find an OB/midwife, I asked around and looked at several online reviews. I met with (no joke) 5 different OB’s and was dissatisfied with each one. I had more tests and bloodwork ordered for me in this short 1st trimester than I’ve had in my whole life (seriously), with everything checking out completely fine. I understand if there is suspicion of something that could negatively impact the baby it is best to get it checked out, however, this was getting ridiculous.

A friend of mine just had her baby with OMG Midwives Group out of Hinsdale and had nothing but good things to say. Having a midwife with my first, I knew that I preferred the midwifery approach and treatment model. Once meeting with one of their midwife’s at their office, I knew I was in the right hands. She spent nearly 45 minutes with me, hearing my concerns, my goals, and why I was so dissatisfied with the previous providers. Each appointment was like this. I cannot thank this group enough for helping me feel welcome and comfortable in my decision-making process during pregnancy. My advice- find a provider who listens, who works with you instead of telling you what to do, and cares more about your health and well-being than just getting a baby out of you as quickly as possible. Be picky, this is your pregnancy, your baby, and your body!

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Hospital: AMITA Health Adventist Medical Center Hinsdale

Midwife group: OMG Midwives

Doula: OMG Doulas

Photography: Lindsey Kay Photography